Jealousy is everyone, and the difference is only in the intensity and the nature of the event it occurs... Jealousy of normal intensity will provide positive motivation for our work, life, etc. We will work harder to get rid of this disadvantaged position and emotions in order to surpass the person we are jealous of. However, excessive jealousy will affect our normal behavior and make us more sensitive than before, with a large degree of inferiority, self-defense mechanism, and emotional fluctuations will also increase.

Jealousy, in a sense, is a kind of emotion that is common to humans. Modern society is a society that advocates success. However, in the fierce competition, if someone succeeds, someone will inevitably fail. The complex emotions composed of shame, anger and resentment that arise after failure are jealousy.

Jealousy has positive meaning, but it is often manifested as negative meaning. Jealousy often leads to negative behaviors such as slandering others and slandering others.

Jealousy is often associated with narrow-mindedness and lack of cultivation. A narrow-minded person will have a greater mentality due to some trivial matters, and any aspect that others are stronger than him will become the cause of his jealousy. A lack of cultivation will transform the determination mentality into negative jealous behavior, seriously destroying interpersonal relationships.

Jealousy can cause endocrine disorders in the human body, decreased digestive gland activity, gastrointestinal dysfunction, night insomnia, increased blood pressure, strange and irritable temper, suspicious personality, depression, etc. Over time, physical and mental diseases such as hypertension, coronary heart disease, neurasthenia, depression, stomach and duodenal ulcers will follow the jealous person.

It can be seen that jealousy not only causes mental torture, but also causes damage to the body.

Some people also compare jealousy to a "double-edged sword". They hurt both themselves and others. So, how should people with strong jealousy eliminate this bad mood?

First, correctly understand yourself. You must accurately understand your strengths and not belittle yourself. More importantly, constantly analyze, reflect on your own behavior and psychological activities, find out whether your evaluation of others and something is unfair and unobjective, whether your mood and behavior start point when facing someone and something, etc.

Second, reduce vanity. Vanity is a distorted self-esteem. Self-esteem pursues real honor, while vanity pursues false honor. For jealousy, it is also a manifestation of vanity and empty mind by belittling others. Simple vanity is easier to overcome than jealousy, but from the perspective of the formation mechanism, the two are closely connected. Therefore, overcoming a vanity will reduce jealousy.

Third, don’t be self-centered. People with jealous mentality are often self-centered and unwilling to be inferior to others. Do not regard other people’s achievements as a contribution to the construction of social groups, but first of all, as a threat to themselves. Only by being able to break out of the self-centered circle can you get rid of pain.

Fourth, learn to accept and understand others. Confucius said: If three people walk, there must be my teacher. This is an admonition for people to be humble and cautious, be good at discovering the advantages of others and learn from others. In doing so, you must first be pleased with others. What you need to accept others is an objective and fair vision and the principle of being kind to others.

Fifth, learn to compete fairly. Competition should be a process that inspires people to make progress and should not become a goal.

If you regard competition as the purpose, it will make people pay too much attention to the results. It is easy to cause actions that do not follow the rules. You must understand that there is always a win or lose in any competition. Don’t focus on winning or losing, but pay attention to the process of competition. Discover the truth about losing or winning, experience the joy of competition, and form a healthy mentality.

Jealousy is a negative emotional experience such as displeasure, self-shaming, resentment, anger, etc. that you find yourself inferior to others in terms of talent, reputation, status or situation.

It is usually manifested as being dissatisfied with the strengths and achievements of others; seeing others stand out and being unwilling to give up, always hope that others are almost the same as you or are behind you. It feels great comfort to see others fall behind you.

Jealous people often do not have the courage to compete, and often do not correctly face and solve their disadvantage in competition. Instead, they adopt illegal and immoral behavior to vent their inner dissatisfaction.

Jealousy is an unhealthy mental state that is very harmful. Once it arises, jealous people will lose their inner peace and balance. They will not be able to stand it when they see others being better than them. They will get angry and sad when others are praised. They may even try their best to destroy other people's success and slander other people's reputation, which will have a great impact on themselves and others' lives and make interpersonal communication lose harmony.

Studies have shown that social jealousy has the following characteristics:

First, hidden. Jealous people do not admit on the surface (or even in their hearts) that they have jealousy in something, and intentionally or unintentionally cover up this jealousy.

Second, equivalence. Jealousy always occurs in people who have changed their situations similar to their gender, age, culture, status, and positions. College students generally do not become jealous of their teachers, but often become jealous of their classmates.

Third, behaviorality. In social interaction, jealousy often leads to jealous behavior. Such behaviors such as satirical, sarcasm, provocation, slander, slander, etc. are generally destructive to varying degrees, and their destructiveness not only directly endangers the jealous person, but also endangers the jealous person himself.

Fourth, variability. When the advantage of the jealous person changes to the disadvantage, especially when it falls behind the jealous person, the original jealous person may mutate, turning into sympathy, compassion, and gloating.

Jealousy has a significant impact on a person's rationality. It interferes with a person's normal judgment and thinking, causes a distortion of a person's personality, and makes others unwilling to interact with him. Therefore, you should consciously adjust your jealousy.

Jealousy often comes from two wrong understandings: one is that if others have achieved achievements, it means that you have no achievements, and if others have succeeded, it means that you have failed.

Second, we believe that other people’s success is a threat to oneself and an infringement on one’s own interests.

It can be seen that the first thing to do to adjust the jealousy is to correct the above incorrect ideas. You must know that comparing with the people around you is the inevitable result of interpersonal communication. It is human beings who desire success and hope to surpass others' impulse. They should bravely challenge the other party, prove their abilities with greater achievements, and establish harmonious friendships in legitimate competition.?

Secondly, we must strengthen our moral and legal concepts, restrain ourselves, and overcome our jealousy, and do not let it develop and trigger destructive behavior.

Again, actively sublimate and turn your negative jealousy into a force of progress. Actively engage in competition and competition, and surpass the other party through positive and progressive methods to achieve psychological balance.

In addition, change the perspective of comparison. Jealousy towards others is often caused by one's concern for the other's advantages in a certain aspect. If one changes the perspective of comparison, compare one's strengths with the other, or compare oneself with a worse person, the unbalanced psychology will gain a new balance.

Since jealousy is a pathological mentality that harms others and oneself, and seriously affects one's physical and mental health, how to overcome it?

1. Recognize the dangers of jealousy

As mentioned earlier, the harm of jealousy is to hit others, and also hurt yourself and delay yourself. People who are envied by others are naturally painful. On the one hand, those who are jealous of others affect their physical and mental health. On the other hand, they are addicted to their whole life and jealousy of others. They do not have enough energy to think about how to improve themselves, but they continue to delay their future and kill multiple harms at one stroke. Recognizing these is the first step to get out of the misunderstanding of jealousy.

2. Overcome selfish psychology

Jealousy is a concrete manifestation of the excessive expansion of the position of "I" in the personal psychological structure. We are always afraid that others will be stronger than ourselves and will be unfavorable to ourselves. Therefore, we must eradicate jealousy. First, we must eradicate the "nutritional base" of this mentality - selfishness. Only by expelling selfish thoughts and broadening one's mind can we correctly view others and accept ourselves, which is what Ji often says, "The world is selfless in the heart and the world is wide."

3. Correct knowledge

Evaluate others objectively and fairly, and also evaluate yourself objectively and fairly. The achievements of others do not mean your own failure. "People are more important to have self-knowledge." A strong enterprising spirit is a huge driving force for people to succeed, but there is only one champion, and there is only one ruler and an inch has strengths. A person cannot be ahead of others in everything. If he is competitive, he will definitely surpass others. As long as a person objectively understands his own strengths and weaknesses, realistically measure his talents, and finds a proper position for himself, he can avoid the emergence of jealousy.

4. Put your heart in mind

Putting one's heart is a common saying that ordinary people often say, which is called "emotional transfer" in psychology. When the fire of jealousy burns, you might as well put yourself in the shoes of the other person and ask yourself, "What if I were the other person?" Using the psychological shift method can allow yourself to experience the other person's emotions, which is conducive to understanding others, and the spread of bad psychological states. This is one of the effective ways to avoid jealous psychological behavior.

5. Improve yourself

The cause of jealousy is that you can't stand others better than yourself. If you can concentrate on learning and explore continuously, and improve your knowledge, skills, and physical and mental quality, then you can also reduce the cause of jealousy. Moreover, the colorful extracurricular life will slowly fill your free time, which will naturally reduce the chance of "nothing can lead to trouble". This is one of the most fundamental ways to overcome jealousy.

6. Improve personality factors

Generally speaking, people with strong jealousy are narrow-minded, suspicious, worried, inferior, introverted, psychological imbalanced, and poor personality and psychological quality. They strive to improve their personality factors, improve their psychological quality, and face life with a healthy mindset.

7. Establish a correct sense of competition

Competition with a fair and reasonable foundation is the driving force for upward movement, and competitors can also gain strengths from each other and make progress together.

As long as you do this, you can be jealous of customer service!

In history, there are many historical events caused by jealousy. Judging from the final results of these events, most of them ended in tragedy.

For example, Bai Qi and Fan Ju of Qin.

In the late Warring States Period, the Qin general Wu'an Jun Bai Qi fought in Changping and wiped out 400,000 Zhao troops. There was panic in Zhao State. Bai Qi took advantage of the victory to defeat seventeen cities in a row, approaching the capital of Zhao State Handan, and Zhao State is about to break.

The situation in Zhao State was critical. Su Dai, a disciple of Pingyuan Jun, offered a plan to King Zhao, and was willing to risk going to Qin to save Lanmei. King Zhao discussed with his ministers and decided to follow the plan.

Su Dai went to Xianyang to pay a visit to Yinghou Fan Ju and said to Fan Ju: The Battle of Wu'an in Changping is majestic and is now approaching Handan. He is the number one hero in Qin's unification of the world. I am worried about you! Your current position is above him, and I am afraid you will have to be inferior to him in the future. This person is not easy to get along with!

Su Dai was so clever. Ying Hou was silent. After a while, he asked Su Dai what countermeasures he had.

Su Dai said: Zhao State is already very weak, so it is no problem. Why not persuade the King of Qin to agree to peace talks temporarily? This will deprive Wu'an Jun of military power and your status will be as stable as Mount Tai.

Fan Ju immediately reported to the King of Qin: The Qin soldiers worked hard for a long time and needed rest. It would be better to temporarily order the troops to retreat and allow Zhao to cede territory and seek peace. The King of Qin really agreed. As a result, Zhao State gave out six cities and the two countries stopped their troops.

Bai Qi was suddenly summoned to the team and was unhappy. Later, he realized that it was Hou Fanju's suggestion, but he had no choice.

Two years later, the King of Qin sent another troops to attack Zhao, and Bai Qi was ill, so he sent Wang Ling to lead a 100,000 troops to the army.

At this time, Zhao State had already appointed veteran Lian Po, and the defense was very strict, so the Qin army could not capture it for a long time.

The King of Qin was furious and decided to let Bai Qi take charge of the battle.

Bai Qi said: Lian Po, the commander of Zhao State, was proficient in strategy, and was not comparable to Zhao Kuo in the past: Besides, the two countries have already negotiated peace. Now they will lose their trust in the princes. Therefore, this time, it is difficult to win.

The King of Qin sent Fan Ju to mobilize Bai Qi again, and the two had a deep conflict. Bai Qi pretended to be sick and refused to agree.

The King of Qin said: Apart from Bai Qi, is there no general in Qin?

So he sent Wang Ling to attack Handan. In May, the King of Qin ordered Bai Qi to take charge. Bai Qi pretended to be seriously ill and refused to benefit.

The King of Qin was furious and stripped Bai Qi of his official position and drove him out of Xianyang.

At this time, Fan Ju said to the King of Qin: Bai Qi is resentful. If he is allowed to go to another country, it will definitely be a disaster for Qin.

When the King of Qin heard this, he urgently sent someone to give Bai Qi a sword and asked him to commit suicide. Bai Qiluo, who made great contributions to Qin, ended up like this.

When Bai Qi surrounded Handan, there was no fire in Qin, but Su Dai ignited Fan Ju's jealousy and created chaos in Qin.

A person will have deep resentment, anxiety and fear towards another person who is in the same field of competition with him or her, and will try to retaliate against him or her. This is the jealousy of people.

In this article, Fan Ju's jealousy about Bai Qi is the jealousy of people who are in the same field of competition that are superior to him. Bai Qi and Fan Ju are officials in the same dynasty and are a pair of competitors in the officialdom. Moreover, Bai Qi's outstanding military achievements pose a great challenge to Fan Ju's status.

People have jealousy, which determines that a person will always be self-centered, and often consciously or unconsciously think that he is the most outstanding person and the number one strong man. Of course, this psychology determines that a person will work hard and will try his best to surpass others, without wanting to fall behind with anyone.

When someone has proved with his own behavior that he is indeed better than him in the field he is in, this can very well hurt his strong jealousy.

The pain and fear that one person's actions bring to another person, and the revenge mentality that everyone has determines that he will take actions to hurt and retaliate against the other party unless he restrains himself.

I believe everyone knows the idiom of carrying a thorn and apologizing for guilt. In essence, apologizing for guilt is actually caused by jealousy!

The Heshibi was in the hands of Zhao State. After Qin learned about it, he expressed his willingness to exchange it for fifteen cities. Zhao sent Lin Xiangru to Qin State. Lin Xiangru was just a "sacrifice" under the eunuch Miao Xian. After Miao Xian recommended it to King Huiwen, he brought the "Heshibi" to Qin as an envoy of Zhao. Lin Xiangru returned to Zhao with his great wisdom and courage, and won the victory of diplomacy against Qin.

Later, Qin attacked Zhao and occupied Shicheng. In the 19th year, King Huiwen of Zhao attacked Zhao again and killed 20,000 Zhao troops. At this time, the King of Qin wanted to join forces with King Zhao in Mianchi, but the King of Zhao was very scared and unwilling to go.

Lian Po and Lin Xiangru negotiated and believed that King Zhao should go to show the strength of Zhao State and the courage of King Zhao.

King Zhao and Lin Xiangru went with each other, Lian Po sent him off and said when he parted with King Zhao: "The king's trip lasted only thirty days. If he did not return for thirty days, please make the prince the king to cut off the hope of Qin to threaten Zhao."

Lian Po's general's demeanor and careful arrangement strengthened the character of King Zhao. At the same time, because Xiangru's meeting with King Qin was neither humble nor arrogant, he fought back without showing any weakness. This not only restored the reputation of the State of Zhao, but also shocked the King of Qin and his ministers, and eventually made King Zhao return safely.

After the meeting, King Zhao "referred to being the superior minister because of his great achievements," and his status was above Lian Po.

Lian Po was dissatisfied with Lin Xiangru's title as the Supreme Court, believing that as a general of Zhao State, he had great achievements in siegeing the wild city and expanding his territory. However, Lin Xiangru, who had a low status, only spoke out but had a higher position than me. It was unbearable.

He openly threatened to humiliate Lin Xiangru in public. He said this: "I am a general Zhao and have made great contributions to attacking the city and fighting in the field. Lin Xiangru only worked hard on his words and verbalism, and he was above me. Xiangru was a bitch, so I was ashamed and could not bear to do it."

The declaration said: "If I see you like you, I will be humiliating you."

After Lin Xiangru found out, he did not want to compete with Lian Po, but adopted a tolerant attitude.

In order not to make Lian Po arrange himself under the prefecture of the court, he always said that he would not be sick every morning.

Sometimes, when Lin Xiangru took a car out and saw Lian Po coming from a distance, he simply led the car to avoid it.

This aroused the dissatisfaction of Lin Xiangru's servants. Lin Xiangru explained: "Compared with Lian Po, the strong Qin king Xiangru, who was like a tiger and wolf, dared to scold him in court and humiliate his ministers. Will I still be afraid of Lian Po? The reason why the strong Qin did not dare to send troops to Zhao State is because Lian Po and I were both officials in the court. If we fight, it would be like two tigers hurt each other, and there is no reason to do both. The reason why I avoided him is simply to put the national crisis above personal grievances."

After hearing this, Lian Po was deeply moved. He chose the day with the most guests in Lin Xiangru's family, carrying a thorn stick on his back and showing his body bare shirt and asking Lin Xiangru to punish him.

Lian Po was very dissatisfied with the fact that Lin Xiangru's status was higher than himself. On the one hand, it was because he had a strong jealousy, and on the other hand, it was because Lin Xiangru was a person who performed better than himself in the same field as him.

Lin Xiangru's original status was not as good as Lian Po. Later, his status surpassed Lian Po, which made Lian Po's exclusive jealousy very unbearable, which made him feel anxious reactions caused by the harm of jealousy, such as anxiety, anxiety, pain and other emotions.

Lin Xiangru's excellence brings him pain and pain. The revenge mentality is to repay kindness, and the characteristics of revenge determine that Lian Po will definitely take revenge. This is why Lian Po said, "If I see Xiangru, I will be humiliated."
To be continued...