Lecture 1 - Emotional Maintenance (Time Income and Expenditure and Management)

No ink traces, just add dry goods.

First, let me tell you a concept that can not only be used to maintain emotions - the theory of maximizing personal time value.

The so-called theory of maximizing personal time value can be understood as how much time you exchange your time for other people and how your time income and expenditure are.

***** Five-star notation: To put it bluntly, the feelings between people are dominated by satisfaction. After excluding the influence of hormones (dopamine, etc.), in 99% of the cases, as long as your time income is greater than your expenditure, you will feel "satisfaction" about that thing (or person), and ensuring high satisfaction between both parties becomes the real code to maintain your relationship with your man/woman.

So the question is, what is time income and expenditure?

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Here I give you an example of simple net loss and net income - your boyfriend/girlfriend gave you an hour of massage.

During this hour, the other party is in a net loss state, while you are in a net profit state.

What this brings is that your satisfaction increases, while in contrast, even if your man/woman doesn’t say it, his/her actual satisfaction decreases.

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Is the above example easy to understand? But this is just the simplest one-way winning and losing mode.

What we are exposed to in our daily lives is actually a win-win model.

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Let me give you another example - a 3A masterpiece game may take a top 100-person team to carefully craft it, but most players only need less than 100 hours to enjoy it.

In the above example, as far as the player is concerned, his time is more than the "spend", after all, hedging hundreds of people for two years of working hours - 300*8-100, making a huge profit of 2,300 hours worth of satisfaction.

But if we look at it from the perspective of the R&D team, a game that an individual involved in R&D spent 2,400 hours to produce only needs more than 2,400 players to pass the game to hedge the time expenditure cost he had spent before. After that, every additional player will increase his time income by 1 hour.

If the final game sales were millions of sets, his net income would reach a terrifying 999,760 hours - which is probably equivalent to earning a 114-year satisfaction.

The above principle applies to almost all cultural and entertainment works. Excellent works are win-win results, and bad works are lose-win results - good works can achieve the ultimate win-win results, and the greater the satisfaction this brings to both parties, the more it can enhance the influence and reputation of the work.

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In short, humans are selfish animals after all, and everything we do is to earn time from others to gain satisfaction.

However, successful people will choose high-efficiency win-win methods to obtain satisfaction, while idiots will choose low-efficiency win-win methods to obtain satisfaction, that's all.

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OK, I believe that you are smart and have thoroughly understood the theory I wrote in the previous one, so let’s get to today’s topic:

How to use time income and expenditure management methods to maintain a relationship with your partner?

——The answer is actually very simple. In dating with your partner, try to choose to do more win-win activities, and not single-win activities.

Win-win categories include but are not limited to: kissing, exercise, finding common hobbies, talking about happy topics that each other is interested in, spending some time giving away gifts that are often used by others (such as razors, game consoles, underwear, high-end jewelry, etc.).

The single win category includes: asking the other party to wash clothes and wash dishes (so the laundry/dish machine is really important), asking the other party to wait downstairs, talk about topics that the other party is not interested in, complain about his unhappiness, etc.

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The above content is a discussion of poverty-stricken experience. Please think carefully before implementing it in light of your own actual situation.

Dialectical understanding is much smarter than rote memorization or disdain. I hope your emotional journey will be smoother because of my small lesson. I wish you good luck!

PS: This is the first lecture of "Lüshi Chunqiu" that I promised you. I will try to update one of the following 30 courses every week for more than 30 courses. Students in need can join the group and wait for updates.

Bow off the stage
Chapter completed!