Hold hands and reach orgasm
Chapter 1 You can't see God, but you love him every day
The only end of your chat with me is that you will fall in love with me. I said to the girl in the video, all you should do now is scream, unplug the power supply, and escape and get off the line.
The girl scoffed at the computer.
You and I are separated by two computers and the real Chuhe Han Realm. You will fall in love with me in 5 seconds. I said to her.
The girl sent a word: Bah.
True love is actually only a moment. It only takes 5 seconds to soak a vanity and ignorant girl. The tools used are very simple, including a camera, a lighter, a bill, and a cigarette. I adjusted the camera, sat upright, lit the hundred-dollar bill with expressionless face, and lit the cigarette with the bill, swayed at the girl, pressed it in the ashtray. The whole movement was done in one go, casual and skillful, and I thought she would be stunned, but who knew that she sent two words coldly: fake bills.
Her name is Butterfly. On a boring summer night, I entered a string of numbers on QQ and added her. Coincidentally, we are all from Beijing. As I said to her later, you were picked up by me in the vast sea of ​​people. She replied, God is so willing. Before the video, Butterfly and I have always praised each other for their appearance. I praised her for her energy savings and being held by a fool when she was a child. She also praised my feet from Hong Kong, my belt is a straw rope, how fashionable, and I am sure that I retained the hairstyle like Aaron Kwok in the 1990s. I said that her breasts should be very small, and Wangzai’s small steamed buns are suitable for the rise and fall of planes. She denied that she was so strong that she could beat Huo Yuanjia. I wanted to wear Ximen Chuxue’s clothes to practice with her. She said that she was 8th karate and 9th tantamount to Emei Sect disciples, but she was a good woman and didn’t fight with men.
I don’t know why, when I first met butterflies, I always quarreled. Later, she also said that we were hedgehogs and could not hug them, otherwise we would hurt each other. Sometimes, I remembered a classic saying in the middle of the night, sneered, climbed up the Internet, double-clicked the cute penguin avatar with a red scarf, first sent two pieces of shit, and then threw a knife to test whether she was online. Most of the time she was online, and would immediately throw a bomb. In her words, it was a bomb from Erra.31xs. Ke carried class hatred and national hatred, and sometimes it was also said that it was a sweet cartoon-coated cannonball.
No matter how she bombs, I add harsh words and words: Butterfly, you are 22 years old, why are you so tender when you paint the old cucumbers green all day long? You are not acting in "Moonlight Treasure Box", the young bird is gone forever, I have watched "The World No Thieves", and then drag your legs to the ground so that you can pretend to be a little more.
She also asked me, spider, why didn't I leave a good impression on you? I thought about it carefully and said, it was mainly because you were coquettish all day long, and you always tried your best to create a virgin in a student uniform and white socks, which made me feel disgusted. She said, I was a virgin. I said, "I was a virgin." I said, the first time of Chinese girls was dedicated to bicycles without exception.
Butterfly said she was studying music and was preparing to go abroad. She rode her bicycle and carried a guitar to travel through the bustling commercial streets and deserted alleys in Beijing. I doubted this and felt that she was more like playing cotton from street to street.
I told her that I was a writer. When I sent her my online collection of essays, she not only expressed her lofty and sincere contempt to my works, but also bet with me that I went to the bookstore and found the broken book I published in a corner, and put 10 yuan in the book. A year later, we will go and read it again. The book must be still there, and the 10 yuan must have been taken away.
During that time, I lived a very embarrassing life, and the manuscripts I wrote were always returned. I quit smoking and received a royalty fee of 900 yuan at the end of June. I thanked the beautiful editor on the phone: "What a timely help. How great you are. You can repay the oil well after you have a drop of water." After coming out of the bank, I found a counterfeit currency and turned around and asked them to change one. The polite bank employee said, "Sir, you are making trouble." The house was raining all night, and I sighed to the sky and encountered a crow shit again. There was no other way except to claim that I was unlucky. I couldn't take it back, right? The one who was regarded as a robber of the bank was even more unjust than Dou E.
When I got home, I turned on the computer and said to Butterfly, I want to see you. Butterfly said, I also want to know what you are like.
The video connection was not very good. She said a few words in a row, Spider, you quickly reveal your true colors to me, and my face and her appeared in that small window. Yes, some people, you only need to look at her and fall in love with her. I always thought that she would be the kind of girl with yellow hair dyed in a suspender vest, but the fact is that she was wearing a white dress and wearing a ring and a jingle, as quiet and pure as a woman in ancient costume. I used that fake bill to light a cigarette, and she told me later
, She saw a blurry face in the smoke, which was the man in her dream.
That day, she said she lost her bicycle.
We comforted each other, who had never received counterfeit money, and who had never lost his bicycle.
Chapter 2     Before the snowflakes bloom, after the snowflakes fall to the ground
Sometimes when we recall the quarrel, she said that many times she was scolded by me so much that she wanted to cry, and she wanted to find a crack in the ground to let me get in, and then torture me with the top ten tortures. I also said that her level of being accustomed to the mulberry and not having dirty words is no less than that of a spokesperson for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and still makes me lick my wounds silently.
I made her change a lot of bad habits, for example, when she was chatting, she liked to type the word "Oh". I told her that this word is meaningless and a waste of time. If you have this time, you can take a look at the scenery outside the window or wipe the dust on the screen.
I told her a story: There was a prince in ancient times who liked a princess very much, but the prince was magically wizarded by a witch and could only say one word a year. In order to express his love, the smart prince didn't speak for five years and saved five words. In the sixth year, the prince said to the princess, Princess, I love you. The prince said one word, and the prince was so angry that he vomited blood and died. Do you know what the princess said?
Butterfly said, Oh.
This story gave Butterfly inspiration, and she decided not to talk to me for five days, and saved five words to tell me. On the fourth day, she couldn't hold on anymore and asked me timidly, "Do you love me?" I thought about it and said, "You know." Then she asked her, "Do you love me?" She shyly sent four words: Kill you to silence me."
Since then, butterfly and I have stopped quarreling. I said that my childhood was buried in a simple house, and there were always wastelands and water rifts around it. She said that when she was 8 years old, she was lost in the woods and couldn't find the way home. In those days, the keyboard was full of morning glory. From morning to evening, when I smoke, when I walk alone, when I watch TV, when I surf the Internet, when I dream, my heart is thinking alone.
I said my name would shine like the stars, and I even gave her my Nobel Prize-winning speech in advance.
She said she likes music very much and said she was embarrassed to play the piano in Vienna and hold a world tour concert.
She set a strict schedule for me, dancing with chickens, fighting at night, reading more, smoking less, exercising more, and thinking less. Due to her tyranny, I had to compromise.
I told the butterfly countless times that we live in the same city, let’s meet, and the hooligans on the hills have to take the time to gather together. She said that this is not a trap? I said that we must be meeting with the golden wind and jade dew.
Once, in the China-Japan football match, I bet with her that I bet on Japan’s winning from the perspective of overall strength. She called me a traitor and a bet on China’s winning from the perspective of patriotism. I said, how about whoever loses will treat me to dinner? She asked me to lose and invite her to eat abalone, and she lost and invite me to KFC. I guessed it very accurately that day, and even guessed the penalty kick. When she asked her when she invited me, she thought for a long time and said, "It's time for the first snow in winter."
Later I learned that she grew up in Hainan and had never seen what snow looked like. After coming to Beijing, she sang a song about snow all summer long. She sang softly on the subway and sang softly on the bench in the park: "Snow, piece by piece, piece by piece, is quiet and colorful in the sky. Seeing that spring is coming, I will no longer survive..."
Chapter 3: A heavy snow can make two people gray-haired in an instant
Autumn has passed and winter has come.
I told the butterfly that the weather is getting colder and colder. The north wind is blowing, the sun is red and the leaves are falling. When will it snow?
She said she also developed the habit of loving to look at weather forecasts.
Sometimes I also ask why I have to wait until it snows. KFC is open all year round. She said she would wait a little longer, and she has been waiting for more than half a year. Do you still care about waiting for a few more days?
A long wait.
One day, I woke up and it was snowing. I was lying in the quilt and called her. She hesitated again, saying that the snow was too heavy and that if I didn't go, it would stain her boots. I said, even if I put the atomic bomb, you would have to climb up to me dying. She said, OK. I also reminded her not to wear too complicated clothes. Maybe we were going to have a one-night stand. She said she was going to come to see me naked.
I was waiting for her at the entrance of KFC. It was snowing heavily that day. I looked up at the sky, and the snow fell on my face. Later, when she went abroad, I stood in the snow like this, and raised my head and felt a little cold. At about two o'clock, I saw a smiling girl walking towards me with a red umbrella. It was her. If you have been in love, you will know the full meaning of "her". We sat by the window.
, talked about our acquaintance, those days of quarrel, and happy times. Before we knew it, we chatted from two o'clock to six o'clock in the evening, and she said it was dark and it was time to go home.
After returning home, she said she had successfully escaped from my clutches. I said that the person who truly loves each other would reach orgasm.
On the second date, she and I held hands and walked through almost all the shopping malls near Xidan.
One day, the butterfly called and said, "The road was slippery, I fell and sprained my ankle. I said, "The pig hit the tree, you hit the pig." After hanging up the phone, I was restless and called her cell phone again. She cried on the other end of the phone, saying, "You are swollen like a hammer." I said, "Be good, don't cry, I will go to see you with a bag of fruit. That night, I lived in her house, to be precise. I lived on her sofa. In the early morning, she issued an order to "get to bed" to me, the "gentle wolf". I said, "You should keep your body as jade, and I must also maintain my etiquette. She said, "Don't know you yet?" If you can't eat grapes, not only will the grapes be sour, but you will dare to pull the grape seedlings in a hurry.
In those days when I took care of her, she once ran to the snow with me on one leg, ran to the park, and shouted. She also ran to the roof of the building in the early morning, and she was so cold that she was sniffling, just to watch a sunrise. Sometimes when she sang, I would rush to her, give a slipper or magazine to her as a flower, embrace, kiss her little face, and turn around to wave to the non-existent audience. I praised her for singing better than Xiaoqiang - the one who was stepped on by Stephen Chow. When I sang, for example, I sang, "You are like a flying butterfly, swaying in the snowy season." She was alone next to her, waving her hands with a smile and dancing. I said, why don't you look like a butterfly? She asked, still waving her wings proudly. I said, like a bald-tailed cock with a lame leg.
During those happy days, Butterfly asked more than once, how long will you love me? I said, maybe I will love you for a short time, maybe this life is just for this life. Butterfly still asked stubbornly, can you really love me for the rest of your life? I said, "Dust return to dust, soil return to soil, I will not let go if I don't watch your memorial service be over."
Butterfly stopped asking questions, I felt something vaguely because she told me many times about studying abroad. Sometimes she would be very depressed after receiving a call from her parents. I knew she would leave me one day, and I knew I would be sad, but I never mentioned it. I just wanted to cherish every minute and every second we were together. I washed her socks, cooked her for her, and carried her to the hospital for follow-up visit. Sometimes, I suddenly wanted to go back to the primitive era. If anyone I liked, I would knock her out with a big wooden stick and drag her back into the hole, so that I could live a peaceful life.
February 14th, butterfly's birthday is Valentine's Day. If you still have an impression of Valentine's Day that year, you will remember that it was snowing that day. I told the butterfly that we are not lovers, we are lovers, so we don't want roses, and there is a cake. I used 23 candles to put a heart pattern on the ground. I said, it's romantic enough. She sat cross-legged, looked around, and said, "How did it make it look like a mourning hall." I snapped my fingers and forgot to have some music. The music sounded, and she looked at me and tears came out.
You are so stupid, Butterfly said, he knew that I was about to leave, but he was still so kind to me.
It’s because you’re about to leave, I said, so I’m going to be nicer to you and better.
Maybe you are not the best, but you are definitely the best for me.
Stop crying, stick out my tongue and I put the cake on it.
I don't want to eat it, and I can't eat it.
At this time next year, I said to the butterfly, I think you should be in a house on the bank of the Volga River. The fireplace is burning with warm fires, and the wood makes a "crackling" sound.
Outside the window, there were snowy beech woods, frozen rivers, and the lavender I planted in spring, and the butterflies said.
I said, your husband is smoking a pipe, a real foreigner, he has body odor, and you are sitting on a rocking chair and sweater, your children are already asleep, you live a happy life of men farming and women weaving.
Go to the death... a butterfly's slipper flew towards me.
Chapter completed!