"Light..."

After calling this, his voice suddenly became hoarse, as if something was blocking his throat and could not speak a word. He could only look at me quietly.

In fact, at this moment, not only was he at a loss, but I was also at a loss.

I have never been a person who likes and is not used to complaining. It is not so natural to please me if I get beaten and please. I can't swallow such benefits. If I hadn't been asked by Miaoyan just now, these words, my past experiences, would have been brought into my coffin and would not have said them casually.

Unexpectedly, he heard it as soon as he said it.

I was a little helpless, why did he hear it?

What is this? I sued the wrong person behind my back? I even sued him directly on the face.

Thinking of this, I chuckled, but I didn't know whether to laugh at myself or something. When he heard my laughter, he was like a death row prisoner who heard his verdict. He immediately even breathed tense and held my hand harder.

“Light.”

He called out again.

At this time, I slowly lowered my head and looked at his half-light and half-dark face reflected by the moonlight.

His face is still the same as in the past, not thin but with clear edges and angular contours, and his eyebrows are still flying. He is still a very handsome man. He did not become indifferent because of the passage of time and his love has dissipated. Instead, time gave him more favor. Although I know that in his identity, even if he is young, young, gray-haired, and even fat-hearted, he will not lack the love of women, but now he is still a man who has great attraction to women. At this moment, he is more calm and restrained and more fatal attraction than the young, vigorous, cruel and perverse man he was back then.

How long has it been since I watched him well?

He looked at me for a long time, feeling my erratic gaze, and did not recall my mind immediately, but looked at my eyes. After a long time, he called me softly again-

“Light.”

This time, I smiled softly in my heart.

It's okay, let him hear it.

It's good to just say it out.

If there is any concealment between me and him, or any involvement, it may make our future entangled. From the beginning, maybe it should be like this now. I tell the truth, even if he really kills me in rage - isn't death also a kind of relief I once prayed for?

So I said softly: "Do you have anything to tell me?"

I said this, but he fell silent instead.

The dark night made many things disappear, but the silence between the two people became clearer and more solemn.

I don't know how long it took to hear his hoarse voice in such silence, and it slowly rang out-

"In my life, you are the one I believe most."

“…”

"But, I'm most afraid of believing you."

“…”

I believe the most, but I am most afraid of believing in me...

I listened to this incoherent and inconsistent sentence, but I couldn't help but smile bitterly.

His eyes were heavy and he looked at me: "Do you understand?"

I shook my head first, but after a while, I nodded.

I see.

I understand every trace of that contradictory mood.

I have also experienced such a mood and such conflicts and struggles - at that time, I loved him, but I was also afraid that I would fall in love with him wholeheartedly and without reservation.

Everyone knows that falling in love with you with thick makeup, wealth, status, Tongtian Power, and other masks with tired and vicissitudes of no makeup are true love, but no one is willing to take it out easily, and he can't let it go, so is me, because people like us look very scheming and unpredictable, but the beating thing on the chest is softer than ordinary people and cannot withstand any harm.

It is also because the injuries we suffer are often more fatal than ordinary people.

So, he conceals it, and I conceals it too.

He thought I was fake, and I didn't believe he was real.

So, I remembered the words he said to me after I left the cell where I was taken to the Linshui Pagoda by the Queen Mother, "Why, aren't you crazy?"

He had long guessed that I was a person from Xichuan to the court, and had long been aware that I had walked out of the Hongyan Building, with a smell of blood on my body and a woman with countless lives in my hands. Such a person was locked in the cold palace and suffered a little, probably a very light punishment for them.

What's more, I assassinated him in full view of everyone, and even stabbed Nangong Lizhu.

Looking at my calm eyes, his chest was fluctuating violently, as if he had something to say impulsively, but he was suppressed by himself several times. I felt his desire to speak again, slowly raised my eyes and looked at him. Seeing his red eyes, he felt that he was about to shed tears in the moonlight.

After a long time, he said, "At that time, I did think you were pretending to be crazy because you lost Li'er, and because you hated me and her. During the time when you lost your memory, I asked someone to check it. The more I checked it, the more I found that your identity was extraordinary. I couldn't believe you, and I was even more afraid that I would get close to you again."

“…”

"I really thought about it, just kill you..."

“…”

"You are free, and I am free."

I smiled faintly: "Then why, why don't you kill me?"

“…”

He looked at me for a long time and said, "I have only one you."

“…”

"There are only one you in all the countries in the world for thousands of years."

“…”

"I am not afraid of killing you or killing anyone. But I am afraid that in the future, I will never see you again and I will never see you again."

I laughed again.

Yes, death is death, it is different from locking up. I was locked up, and I didn’t think about it or recite it. But as long as I remembered it, I could still take the time to go to the cold palace to take a look. Even if I was crazy, I was still there; but death was different. The bones were decaying bit by bit, and the memories were dissipating bit by bit. Even if he was really rich in the world, he could only dig out a dead bone if he wanted to see me again.

This chapter is not over, please click on the next page to continue reading! So, he left me and the memories that I could not dissipate for those more than two years.

What can I say?

Living is good after all. If it weren't for his kindness at that time, how could I find Li'er later, reunite with my daughter and spend those happy times? How could I see Liu Qinghan again in another restaurant? How could I know that love has another look?

Ye Qingleng, even though his hand was tightly pinched in his palm, there was an indescribable chill slowly penetrated into his skin, until I gently used force to slowly pull out his hand from his hand. This time, he did not hold on to me tightly like any time before, but let me pull out my hand in sweat.

However, when my hand finally escaped from his shackles, he reached out and covered my hand again.

I didn't hold on, didn't clamp, just put it in my hand.

I paused, and subconsciously raised my head to look at him, and saw his eyes staring at me persistently and passionately, as if something was expanding in his body, even breathing with a sense of oppression.

He said, "Why don't you ask?"

"What are you asking?"

"Ask me—ask—"

He said the words, but at this moment, even he could not speak, and the sound of his heartbeat spread from his chest to my body.

He said: "I want to tell you everything, but why don't you ask?"

“…”

I thought about it and smiled faintly, "Okay, I'll ask."

“…”

"Your Majesty, when did you know that I was crazy, not pretending, but being designed by someone?"

His expression condensed.

I didn't wait for his answer, or even waited for him to come back from the suffocation of that moment, and then smiled faintly: "Actually, it's not just now, right?"

“…”

"You just learned just now that I was lynched and secretly murdered in the cold palace. I just learned just now how I survived from the cold palace. But the truth about me being crazy is actually not what you just knew."

“…”

"Before Jieyuwen was killed by stick, you had someone searched in the palace and found some medicines that would cause people to go crazy."

“…”

"At that time, you actually already knew, right?"

“…”

He held his breath, his face pale and bloodless. In the moonlight, it looked like ice without a trace of heat. The hand that was on the back of my hand also became cold in an instant.

This was his first time, avoiding my gaze.

He lowered his head, as if he didn't know what he could say or do, but just stubbornly covered the hand on the back of my hand.

The palm of my palm was completely cold.

It took him a long time before he said hoarsely: "Do you hate me?"

I shook my head lightly: "Actually - no hate. I just want to tell Your Majesty that I don't hate, because I understand that feeling very well."

“…”

"I don't care about your own news over the years, except for the government decrees."

“…”

"It's not hatred, it's not afraid of knowing, it's just that - it's nothing to do with you."

“…”

"I say this to tell Your Majesty that I know the difference between 'love' and 'not love'."

“…”

"It's not the person in your heart. No matter how moved you are, you have ever felt moved, but compared to her, you are still nothing."

“…”

"When you love her, spoil her, trust her, and even don't want to accept any bad facts of her, because she is the person you love, the person you love, and is born to protect your shortcomings."

“…”

"No one can resist this nature, even people like you will choose to deceive themselves."

“…”

"So too."

I looked at him with a smile, and felt my eyes heat up, and my nose felt sore. Tears slowly poured up blocked my throat. My voice was so sour that I could hardly speak in a slight way. I could only smile and say vaguely: "When I love you, I have been deceived by myself - you will be nice to me; you won't let me wait for you like other women; I don't have to compete for favor, but I can also get your favor; I am special to you..."

“…”

"But before I fell in love with you, I knew it was impossible."

“…”

"It is because it is impossible that I have resisted you and refused to accept you."

“…”

"But after I fell in love with you, I just deceived myself like that."

There was a clicking sound in the darkness. I didn't know what it was. I just felt that his face in front of me was blurred and awake for a while. When he heard the sound on the back of his hand, he felt the hot and cold wetness on the back of his hand. He looked up at me, and his eyes were like suffering in hell, and the torn pain was clearly written in front of me.

He called me: "Light..."

I said so many words in one breath. At this time, I was even a little breathless and sat there weakly breathing. I don’t know how many years have I held these words in my heart, and I don’t know which corner of my heart has almost rotten and rotten. I should have brought them into the coffin, but I finally told him all today.

It's okay, it's okay to open it.

I don't owe him, he doesn't have to owe me.

Just like what I said to Miaoyan just now - love is not a shame, and I am not ashamed of falling in love with this man forgot to do so. No matter how much shame and pain he has given me, I am happy when I love each other. When I was plotting against those profiteers with him in Yangzhou, I was satisfied; I was proud to listen to his generous speeches at the cold wind banquet and the clear water table; I was even happy in the harem, every night when I was hugged in my arms and fell asleep.

But these are memories.

Memories are memories. No matter how distinct the pain and happiness in memories are, they have no power.

At this time, I felt him slowly let go of my hands, but those hands slowly stretched towards me, hugging my thin waist, he leaned into my arms, hugged me tightly, and buried his head in my arms.

His breathing, his heartbeat, every time, was transmitted through his clothes to my skin and my blood.

I even felt his trembling slightly.

It seems that the soul is also suffering from torture, which makes him hurt, but it is unspeakable.

This time, I didn't struggle anymore. Let him hug me tightly like this, let him hug my soul's life-saving straw like a lonely child.

The night passed by bit by bit in such a painful embrace.

I don't know how long it took, but I heard his dull voice, and it sounded softly-

“Light.”

“…”

"If I say that now, isn't it too late?"

“…”

"In the past half of my life, I only knew clearly that I fell in love with her and loved her. How should other people love and how they fell in love with her? I really don't understand."

“…”
Chapter completed!