"As long as a person reaches absolute, he will not suffer; as long as he forgets his feelings, he will be liberated."

For some reason, I was already numb, but when I heard this, I felt a little sad.

Maybe it's because I have had such struggles and pains.

We have to tell myself that in order to survive, I have to do anything, and no matter how great the pain is, I have to bear it. Although I have not done it absolutely and have not been able to completely forget my feelings, I have experienced such struggle and despair.

So I said softly: "Indeed, I have killed anyone."

“…”

"I, of course, are not a saint. When death comes to an end, I will certainly not be slaughtered."

“…”

"When people want to survive, they must confront people, things, and things that put themselves to death. At that time, survival is the most important thing. Killing people for survival is, and it will not be an unforgivable thing to put on anyone. Therefore, it is not that you cannot kill people."

His eyes slowly regained: "Light."

"But," I looked up at him: "It's not a random kill."

“…!”

I heard his breathing, and I slowly said, "Yes, all people in high positions will inevitably have such a past, and everyone cannot be spotless in the world. But all these excuses and forgiveness do not mean that you can kill innocent people indiscriminately."

“…”

"You think that as long as you work diligently and love the people after you ascend the throne and be a kind monarch, no one will remember your previous killings. But how long will it take to forget the blood and how long will it take to wash away? When the royal family entered the pass and washed Yangzhou bloodily, until now, the people in Yangzhou have not forgotten that massacre. If it weren't for that massacre, if it weren't for the Yangzhou people who remembered that hatred for generations-" I felt a twitch in my throat, I felt tears coming out, and I gritted my teeth and said reluctantly: "How could the officials sent by the imperial court to Yangzhou die one after another?"

“…”

His eyes were filled with pain, and after a while, he slowly said, "Then why did you stop me from massacreing the city?"

“…”

"Aren't you going to destroy my path? If I massacre the city in Yangzhou, wouldn't there be more people who hate me and more people overthrow me?"

“…”

"Why don't you do that?"

I looked up at him.

Indeed, what he said is not unreasonable. I really want to destroy his path. At the most painful and helpless moment, I once gritted my teeth and thought about it, and simply let him go like this. If a person's path reaches a desperate situation step by step, it will be the end and the beginning of destruction.

but--

I lowered my head and said lightly: "No matter how you go, no matter what I want to do, it is better to die in the city without any wicked souls."

After saying this, I seemed a little powerless and didn't speak anymore.

And he didn't say anything anymore.

However, after hearing what I said, I felt that the painful and entangled gaze actually felt a little warmth in such a icy and snowy place.

He took a step forward, and the umbrella in his hand trembled slightly, and then a burst of broken snow was scattered from the top of the umbrella, fluttering and drifting on our faces with the wind, bringing a coolness.

I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't say anything, just put his other hand on my waist, which also prevented me from subconsciously retreating.

Then his lips were gently printed on my forehead.

Originally, in such a cold and numb skin, my skin suddenly touched the soft and hot lips. The touch stimulation made me tremble slightly, but he restrained all my movements and retreats, but he did not go any further. He just put his lips on my forehead, as if he wanted to end our conversation with this hug, this touch that was not like a kiss.

He pressed his forehead against my vagueness and said, "Do you know why I can't let go of you?"

"I have no idea."

How good would it be if I knew?

He chuckled, his eyes seemed to fall behind me, so he was so confused that he didn't know where he was looking, so even his tone became a little vague.

He said softly, "I don't know either."

“…”

"But I'm always like this, and I'm getting more and more unable to let go."

“…”

"Light, in the current situation, I am deeply trapped in my mud, and the retreat has been cut off, so I can't turn back."

“…”

"I seem to be the same with you."

“…”

"Lingying, if one day I can let go of the world, then maybe I can let you go."

He slowly lowered his head and looked at me: "You said, will there be that day?"

“…”

I also looked up at him. In those eyes full of warm smiles, I did not see what he described. His sure and unquestionable future was, but I only saw a darkness, as dark as the abyss.

|

That day, he kept holding an umbrella and took me to a room in Yuwen's mansion, and even closed the door for me considerately outside. Everything that had been prepared in the room allowed me to quickly free myself from the coldness brought back from the snow and ice outside. Looking at his figure outside the window, he stayed for a while before leaving.

No matter what he said to me, no matter what I said to him or did, he seemed to have not changed, and he was still gentle and considerate as always.

But in the evening that day, the atmosphere outside became wrong.

Although I heard nothing and no one would come to me to report anything to me, I still felt something was wrong when I saw the people outside walking, listening to the anxious and messy footsteps, and some people deliberately lowering their voices.

After dark, the depressing atmosphere became more and more obvious.

The snow had stopped, and the entire mansion was so quiet that there was no sound at all.

I found that Hua Zhu did not follow me as usual and guarded outside my door.

Of course, I have reached this point and I will not be stupid enough to escape, so I sat alone by the window and felt the silence outside. It was not until night that I heard someone walking to me stepping on the snow that was deep and shallow. When I opened the door, I saw that it was indeed a flower bamboo.

When she looked up at me, she was stunned for a moment: "Miss Yan, are you not asleep yet?"

I looked at her: "What's wrong outside? Is something wrong?"

“…!”

She was stunned.

As soon as I saw her stunned expression, I knew I had guessed it right.
Chapter completed!