These two words finally made her move, who had been silent for a while. She trembled slightly, and a strand of her snow-white hair fell down and brushed across the corner of her lips.

After so many years, she has not changed at all. Perhaps, she has also changed, but in my eyes, she is always like that, with her quiet eyebrows, quiet eyes, lips pursed, and faint wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and mouth, but her eyes are young, and there is a kind of vitality like spring breeze in silence, which makes her face with a lack of expression always have a smile, and she is full of sympathy for everyone and things.

She looked at me for a while and said, "It's you really?"

I was already crying and lay in front of her, crying in tears: "It's really you, mother, it's really you!"

She and I couldn't believe it.

She couldn't believe that I would be here, and I couldn't believe that my mother, she would appear here!

Why was she in this Sanjiang Dam? Why was she obviously dead but not dead? Why was she in this place and why was she white?

I grabbed the corner of her clothes like a child, crying out all the grievances and pains over the years.

"Mother, why? Why?"

Her reaction was much slower than me, or she had no normal reaction yet. From the first time she saw her, she discovered her lotus sitting cross-legged posture, I already understood that she had entered a state of meditation.

People who enter the state of meditation in the lotus sitting cross-legged position can close their five consciousnesses and enter the deepest part of the spiritual realm. External objects cannot invade and internal breath will not leak out. In this way, people who enter the state of meditation actually have their lives that are almost stagnant, and can last for a long time without eating or drinking.

My second uncle, the monk Zhengjue from Tianmu Temple, can enter meditation for half a year in the posture of sitting cross-legged in the lotus, and some eminent monks can enter meditation for up to ten years.

And the mother...

Hearing my crying, her eyes finally regained a little bit of their spirit. They flashed slightly under the swaying candlelight, and then lowered their heads to look at me. After a while, she raised her hand and gently stroked my face.

"You're here."

She said these three words so lightly, but she expressed her infinite emotion.

Yes, I'm here.

I'm finally here.

Maybe she has been waiting for me for a long time, or maybe I should have come long ago, when I began to doubt the truth of her death, but until today, I came here and saw her.

I cried, "Mother, you have been here, have you been waiting for me?"

She nodded gently.

"You've been here all the time?"

"Yes, my mother has been here since you left."

It has been twenty years since I left, and she has been meditating in this dam for twenty years!

Everyone thought she was dead, but there was no spiritual position, no one worshipped her. Even my father could only look at her in the Bodhisattva temple built by Tang Ting.

But--

I looked up at her. Her face had not changed, almost the same as when I left, but her hair was completely white. Why? After entering meditation, nothing will change? Why did her hair turn white?

I held her snow-white hair and cried, "Why did my mother become like this? Why did you keep meditating here, why did you turn white?"

She also looked down at her, her eyes flashed slightly, and after a while, she said, "Because one day, my mother woke up."

My heart suddenly jumped, tears shaking in my eyes, dripping down again, falling on her snow-white hair.

“When?”

"..." She looked at me quietly and said, "Mom doesn't remember it either. She only remembers that day. She felt very uncomfortable. She seemed to suddenly fall into the river. There was cold water around her. She couldn't breathe, and she couldn't continue her meditation, so she could only wake up."

I trembled and said, "And what? What did you do?"

"Then, I left here."

“…”

"This is the only time I have left here these days. I have walked a long way, so far that I don't remember it myself. I only remember that the fog on that day was very heavy. No matter where I went, I seemed to be unable to get rid of the feeling of being swallowed by water. It was cold and suffocating."

“…”

"It took a long time before I got back here."

“…”

I got it, that day, I jumped down from Pei Yuanhao's boat from the tiger leap gorge. It was also on that day that Tang Ting also fell from the mountain. She thought she had seen a Bodhisattva, and after that, she erected the Bodhisattva temple and shaped the statue of the Bodhisattva.

But what she saw was really her mother!

My mother looked down at me and said lightly: "That day, my hair was like this."

“…”

I've already burst into tears.

Over the years, I have never had any complaints, nor can I face everything that happened calmly, but after hearing what she said, I forgive everything and forget everything.

She is still hanging on me. Even if she doesn't know anything, she will be unable to settle down because of my life and death.

But, since I am hanging on me, why should I give up on me?

I grabbed her clothes, not knowing whether I was questioning or expressing my grievances, but I just shouted: "Mother, why? Why do you do this?!"

"As big, I'm still a silly girl," she held my face and said softly: "There are causes and consequences in this world, and there is sacrifice and gain. Why are there so many reasons?"

"What about me?"

“…”

"Why can my mother give up on me? What did my mother get after giving up on me?"

This sentence was like a small stone, thrown into her bottomless deep pool. Although it could not stir up any waves, the ripples were clearly written in her eyes.

I cried and asked, "Why can my mother give up on me?"

“…”

She looked down at me, but there was still not much expression on her face. After a long time, she slowly said, "What else can I do?"

“…”

"In this world, there are some things that people always need to do. If you can do better than others, you will choose you."

“…”

"Light, don't blame me."

I can't blame her, and I can't blame her. My whole body comes from her. Even my life seems to be walking along her footsteps. I feel like I am her shadow, not being led by her, but following her involuntarily. How can I blame her?

I just had too much pain and thought it had passed, but under the comment of her quiet eyes, the suffering of this half of my life surged out.

I cried and said, "Don't my mother worry, and I'll do things as they told me, and will my mother go on another path?"
Chapter completed!