"Lu Mingfei, have you ever experienced blood sorrow?"

Lu Mingfei turned to look at Lin Nian, who was leaning against the billboard on the platform seat and looking at the neon night view of Chicago from the instant noodle bowl. It took him a long time to swallow.

A hard-earned $12 bowl of street instant noodles.

The sudden question stunned him as he sat in front of the bus stop late at night. There was still half-eaten instant noodles hanging in his mouth, and a large amount of shredded beef hung on the surface and fell into it one by one.

Fennel in red spicy soup.

"What kind of strange question is this?" Lu Mingfei asked vaguely, subconsciously shaking half of the noodles hanging in his mouth. He didn't quite understand Lin Nian's brain circuit. Or maybe he couldn't answer Lin Nian's sudden question.

It was not the expected question, so he could only answer the question with questions, perfunctory and thinking.

"Blood Sorrow. Do you still remember what it is?" Lin Nian leaned against the sliding and refreshing billboard lights. The cold light illuminated his side face, and his eyes were unfocused towards an extinguished lamp in the distance.

street lights.

Lu Mingfei slowly turned his eyes away and looked at the empty intersection ahead. The traffic lights jumped lonely at the end of the zebra crossing. He didn't care if anyone followed his command and crossed the deserted street. The night was indeed very deep.

, the last bus had already left when the lamp at the bus station did not turn on, leaving the two of them sitting on the platform like ghosts eating under the lights of the intersection.

"I know, I've been taught it in class, how could I not know. In short, it's the sadness and alienation you suddenly feel in a crowd."

While answering, Lu Mingfei lowered his head and picked up the sincere beef shreds floating on the noodle soup, stacked them on the noodles and carefully rolled them up with a plastic fork, with a nonchalant tone, "Things like Blood Mourning happen every day.

Well, when I run out of pork knuckles during dinner, I will mourn with blood. If I fail the in-class exam, I will mourn with blood. If I don’t get a course that is easy to get credits, I will also mourn with blood.”

"Are you just plain angry? Bloodmourne is not such a casual thing."

"What else could that be?" Lu Mingfei asked, burying his face in the noodle bucket and drinking soup. When people are hungry and cold, they always like to eat a bowl of instant noodles, especially the hot and spicy Sichuan-style instant noodles.

The street instant noodles in Chicago are not like Master Kong where a cow is sold for a year. The price is 12 US dollars. When you peel off the insulating foil on the noodle bucket, there is a layer full of minced beef.

"It's not something." Lin Nian lowered his head and gently clasped his chin with his right hand while thinking seriously, "In fact, at the beginning, my mentor, Professor Manstein, popularized this concept to me. Although he could describe it well,

What's described in the textbook is pretty much the same, but I want to try to deconstruct the core concepts inside, but I can't always get a satisfactory result. They always use the word "loneliness" to cover Bloodmourne.

, but I always feel that it’s almost meaningless.”

Lu Mingfei thought for a moment and suddenly laughed strangely, attracting Lin Nian to look over.

Lu Mingfei sorted out his words, shook the plastic fork and pointed at his friend, "That's probably when you graduated from the second grade of middle school."

"What do you mean?"

"Actually, I found that whenever Blood Mourning is mentioned, everyone will think of 'loneliness', and I don't know why. Everyone agrees with this statement, as if Blood Mourning and loneliness are equated." Lu Mingfei

Gently twist the handle of the plastic fork with your thumb and index finger, letting the other end of the fork continue to wrap around the noodles in the soup, "But according to my observation, few people in the school are actually truly lonely, even if they are

Before they were discovered by the academy, their living environment was far from lonely. They had a father and a mother, one and two from pretty good families, and there were people around them who loved them, and they did love those people, so how could loneliness breed?

?”

"What is your definition of loneliness?" Lin Nian asked.

"Uh." Lu Mingfei paused in the movement of rolling noodles, then looked down at the shadows of the two of them cast by the advertising lights on the platform on the ground dimly illuminated by street lights, "You can't be so casual after all, right? You can't find it when you go out to eat.

I don’t think it’s true loneliness if I can’t find a friend to play games online, or I can’t find popcorn terminators while watching a movie. It can only be called having no friends. Even if you are not a mixed race, many people do.

Don’t you have any friends? You understand what I mean, right?”

"Yes, just like you and me." Lin Nian said.

"It's not embarrassing. I still have friends when I play games online. Have you forgotten, Old Tang?"

"Old Tang is the King of Bronze and Fire, your friend is the Dragon King, and he was indirectly killed by you. It's hard for me to agree with this statement."

Lu Mingfei was poked, and his expression was a little tangled. He poked the instant noodle bucket twice with the spoon in his hand, so that the bottom of the bucket was not penetrated.

"Are we considered friends?" Lin Nian asked.

"Of course it counts, the friendship comes from eating the white meat of Lizhuang." Lu Mingfei nodded.

"We often played together in high school, so it's not like we have no friends, and loneliness is out of the question. According to the logic that loneliness equals blood sorrow, can this be concluded that we don't have blood sorrow?"

"Uh," Lu Mingfei was stuck again, and said after a moment, "Isn't it? Blood Mourning seems to be a mixed race. The more awesome the mixed race is, the more miserable it is. I mean, the lonelier it is. This is written in the textbook.

That’s what everyone around me says.”

"So are you lonely?" Lin Nian asked.

He stared at Lu Mingfei. Lu Mingfei looked at Lin Nian through the light of street lamps and billboards, with a very tangled expression. He knew that Lin Nian had begun to deconstruct something inexplicably again. He always did this

His bad habits were like mentioning the school board. Lu Mingfei asked him, "Don't you want to kill the school board's mother?" Lin Nian said that the school board was not the enemy, and their real enemies were still behind the scenes, and deconstructed a

There are a lot of issues involving interests and conflicts of interest between him and the school board of directors.

When Lin Nian was in this state, he chose to obey, go at the other person's pace, think about the problem seriously, and then make a convincing answer in his heart, "I am lonely!"

When he said this, Lu Mingfei felt quite ashamed. Fortunately, they were sitting at a deserted intersection. He might not be able to say these three words in broad daylight.

"Reason?" Lin Nian asked.

"There's no reason." Lu Mingfei said, to avoid Lin Nian's further questioning. He asked instead, "What about you? Are you lonely?"

Lin Nian nodded.

"Reason?" Lu Mingfei threw the question back and continued to slurp the noodles. When the noodles became cold, the oil would become greasy. Such noodles would be watery and dogs wouldn't like to eat them.

"It's an indescribable feeling." Lin Nian said lightly.

Lu Mingfei felt Lin Nian's "light" tone, and immediately put down the bowl helplessly, because he knew that he had to listen carefully to what the other party said next. Several times of experience showed that after what he said next, he had to

If you are forced to do reading comprehension and your answers are not up to standard, you will be looked down upon from head to toe.

"When you were in high school in Shilan, did you ever take the last bus home alone at night?" Lin Nian asked.

"Yes, when I was a freshman in high school and a sophomore in high school, the evening self-study class ended at 8:30. I turned left outside the school gate and walked a short distance to take the No. 11 bus. If I was delayed a little bit, I would have to wait for the last bus that ends before 9 o'clock."

Lu Mingfei has a profound memory.

"I feel lonely when I take the last bus."

"What's the reason?" Lu Mingfei didn't understand, "Is it caused by the atmosphere and the lights at night? This doesn't involve Blood Mourning, right?"

Lin Nian was silent for a long time. It was so long that Lu Mingfei felt that if the other party didn't speak, his face would get really lumpy. When he tried to say something again, he heard the person next to him say, "I have to say, that kind of loneliness is like standing alone."

I looked at this brightly lit city from the bridge, but I couldn't really experience it all. Rather than saying that the city surrounded me, it was better to say that I owned the whole city. I could take the No. 11 bus all the way from Shilan High School.

Go to the New Bridge to explore every corner of the city. But this kind of possession has its drawbacks. Sitting on the bus and leaning against the window, I feel like a child exploring the model of the city from a high position.

, I can see the lights and the people in the buildings from any angle, but I can't join in. It's like watching a model train running on the track but not being able to actually ride it. I own this city but I don't.

To truly own it is like a lonely bystander, who can only own the shell but cannot understand the inner part."

"I feel very lonely listening to it." After listening to Lin Nian's words, Lu Mingfei suddenly felt that maybe Lin Nian was really lonely.

"A sense of identity." Lin Nian said, "I have come to the conclusion that Bloodmourne is just a sense of identity."

"Sitting on the bus from one end of the city to the other, you can go anywhere in the city, but you can't really integrate into that place. I can understand it like people who never go to bars, even if there are enough

He went to the bar to spend money, but after he stepped in, he couldn't have fun because he felt that he didn't belong there. The active people there were not the same type of people as he himself, and no matter how harmonious the surface was, it was not.

Based on social habits and politeness, the other party will not really agree with him, and he will not accept what the other party means, right?" Lu Mingfei felt that he scored well in every Chinese reading comprehension test in high school, probably thanks to Lin

Years are about to happen.

"That's pretty much what it means." Lin Nian said, "It seems you understand what I mean."

"I understand, your hypocrisy breaks my heart." Lu Mingfei pretended to make a fist with his left hand, lightly hammered his chest, and then pointed at Lin Nian.

But what he didn't expect was that Lin Nian reached out and touched his fist, "It seems that you are like me. No wonder we played together in high school."

"?" Lu Mingfei said sincerely that you are a well-educated young man, so why don't you hook up with me? My buddy had a lot of fun eating and drinking in high school, but his relationship was a bit rough. He was not alone by the window on the last train like you.

Is it good to shed tears?

"Have you ever considered why you were only my friend in high school?" Lin Nian looked at Lu Mingfei and asked, "Your social skills are actually not bad. You know this, but you have never taken the initiative to do it.

You’ve had close friendships with people other than me, what do you think is the reason?”

Lu Mingfei opened his mouth, then shut it up and lowered his head to eat instant noodles.

The bus stop was quiet for a long time. Lu Mingfei finally finished eating the instant noodles, put the soup aside, and burped comfortably. He turned his head to see Lin Nian still deep in thought, and couldn't help but sigh and ask,

"What are you still struggling with? Blood sorrow, sense of identity, loneliness, etc., aren't they all things in the past? I admit that mixed races are a bit pretentious. I mean identity crisis, but didn't the academy find us?

Everyone is having a party happily in the big Kassel family and having a free day of live CS battles, isn’t that a great sense of identity?”

"Others are like this." Lin Nian nodded, "What about you?"

Lu Mingfei paused. Lin Nian did not look at him and just continued, "You never take the initiative to participate in free day or group party activities. Even if you participate, you only eat and never take the initiative to socialize. This is different from you in

What's the difference in high school?"

"I'm just too lazy to socialize." Lu Mingfei argued.

"Me too." Lin Nian said, "It's not that I'm lazy in socializing, but I'm also unable to identify with him."

Lu Mingfei finally fell silent. He put his hands on the seats on the left and right, turned his head and looked at the end of the intersection where the endlessly extending street lights met, "What do you mean?"

"Whether you are discovered by Kassel College or join a mixed-race group, the environment is changing and the people around you are changing, but the sense of identity has never changed." Lin Nian paused, "Blood

It seems that sorrow has never left."
To be continued...