Write at the beginning: This chapter is dangerous, read it quickly.

==========

Before officially entering the topic, I have a personal experience that I would like to share.

Unfortunately, we, Fang Muquan, have also experienced school bullying.

When my grandfather was still alive, he had his own "land" in the compound in the countryside, which was both a flower garden and a vegetable garden. I loved that small piece of land, so every year during the holidays, I would go back to my hometown and learn to water it with my grandfather.

Water, fertilize, and eliminate pests and diseases.

Unfortunately, my skin is not white and I have never been exposed to the sun, so I always look like a black mud monkey when I come back from my grandparents' house. I was laughed at and scolded by my parents many times. I was still young at that time, and I only cared about

Hehehe, never take it seriously.

Until I went to junior high school.

I clearly remember that there was a boy in the class who took the lead in ostracizing me for no reason. When I spoke, he would scream and repeat next to me in a bad local accent. Wherever I walked by or touched, he would immediately wipe it with a mop and paper towels.

, or put your hand in front of your nose and slap it hard, with a very disgusted expression.

So within two weeks of school starting, I was forced to become a "dirty country bumpkin" in the eyes of my classmates. Everyone avoided me if they could, as if being too close to me would cause them to be smelly and rustic. I gradually became very

Afraid to get close to others, afraid to meet anyone's eyes, for fear of seeing avoidance and disgust in their eyes.

It’s funny, I really thought that I was hated by everyone because I was too dark and dirty, so I never dared to take off my school uniform jacket in school. Even in the summer, I wore long sleeves and didn’t dare to show my arms for fear of getting dirty.

Their eyes. At the same time, I also developed an acquired mysophobia, brushing my teeth frequently until they bled, and bathing like crazy until my mother scolded me for wasting water.

Later, I didn’t even want to go back to my hometown to visit my grandparents. Occasionally when I went back and my grandfather would happily take me to the yard, I would find various excuses not to bask in the sun, and would rather stay in my room and do questions.

My grandfather knew nothing about my concerns and awkwardness. He only thought that his grandson changed his gender after going to school, became more interested in studying, and lost interest in these things. He felt regretful and happy about this. I feel very guilty. I really feel guilty.

I like to take care of his flowers and plants with my grandfather, and tinker with the vegetables and potatoes, but out of self-esteem and various reasons, I still feel guilty and sad while turning a blind eye to my grandfather's lonely look after being rejected.

I excluded myself from the house and my grandfather just to prevent that boy and other classmates from rejecting me in school.

In this way, I stayed at home for a summer vacation, looking at my skin and smelling it. I felt that I was not as "dirty" as before, and it was much harder to have the confidence to integrate into the group. But I soon discovered that,

Whether I am dirty or not has nothing to do with whether that boy bullies me or not. No matter what I do, he is still keen to cause trouble for me.

Papers are scribbled on, textbooks and homework books are lost inexplicably, and I am "owed money" for some reason, etc. These are all trivial matters, and they won't be taken seriously if I mention them to the teacher. If I mention them to parents, parents don't think there is any need to worry about them.

.

In the end, every day was spent on tenterhooks. It was so painful. I didn’t dare to leave my seat, because once I left, my pencil case might be gone. Even after school, I didn’t dare to leave my books and test papers.

In the desk compartment, even if the schoolbag fortress exploded, I insisted on carrying them all away. Then when I went home, my parents scolded me, "Why is this child so solid-minded? He is so stupid" (laughing).

It’s not that I haven’t resisted, but it’s useless. I will be blocked in a corner of the class or in the toilet, surrounded by a group of people and kicked. I can only see many feet and legs in my field of vision, and all I feel is pain.

I also tried to talk to my parents about whether I could transfer to another school, but there was only one key junior high school in the small county. My parents felt that there was no benefit in transferring and they didn’t understand why I wanted to transfer. Even though I mentioned that I was bullied in the class, my parents still refused.

I feel like it was just a joke between children, and it will be fine after all. The situation still hasn’t changed.

So slowly, I got used to it. Later, when I found out that my homework book was gone, my first reaction was that I had discovered it very early and it was too late to make up for it.

What impressed me deeply was that in the second half of the second semester of junior high school, the teacher of another class was transferred. The class she was responsible for was split into two halves, half merged with the class next door, and the other half merged with our class. There were many new students in the class.

I started talking to two of my classmates, and we had a good time in the first few days.

It didn't last long. It didn't take long for them to realize that the general direction of the class was to bully me, so A among them also bullied me with that boy. B didn't do this, but he didn't stand on my side either, and just stayed away silently.

He ignored me, as if he didn’t know me at all, and acted like he didn’t see me every time.

Looking back, my mental state was very poor during the three years of junior high school. I didn't want to go to school. I became anxious when school started. I couldn't sleep well. I didn't dare to raise my head when walking. I often thought about jumping off the building. If I jumped, I would be relieved. Otherwise,

I planned to take the kitchen knife from home to school and chop the boy and his followers to death one by one in front of the whole class to see who else would dare to bully me.

But every time I wanted to put it into practice, I couldn't help but think about how much trouble my parents would be in if I really did this, so I shrank back the idea I had just had and continued to go to school with fear.<

/p>

It wasn't until I got through these three years, graduated from junior high school, and passed to high school with passable grades that I finally got rid of the group of people who bullied me.

However, my mental state has not improved. Looking back now, I was extremely possessive of my belongings at that time, and my mood swings were also very large, and I would be extremely stressed over even the smallest things.
p>

I remember that during a break in my freshman year of high school, the person sitting in front of me was in a hurry to fill out a form, so I said hello and temporarily took my pen to use. As a result, I reacted extremely violently. Not only did I start trembling, but I also yelled at her. According to her

He said that my eyes almost popped out at that time, and they were all bloodshot, as if I was trying to eat someone.

I know I'm not normal, but I really can't control it. At that time, I would feel that if you touch my things casually, you just don't take me seriously. You just look down on me and treat me like a mud dog. Anyone who walks by can do it.

The kind that gives you a kick.

Even at home, if my mother changed the position of my notebook, pencil case, etc., I would feel that my belongings had been violated, and my heart would be so blocked that I could not breathe.

Even a few years later, when I was admitted to college, I thought I was almost good enough. But when I joined the Go club and played chess with my classmates, I was white and he was black. The moment he took the captured white piece away from the board, I felt

Immediately my heart was beating wildly, my stomach was twitching, I felt a sense of fear in my heart, and I felt like my internal organs were tightening.

I can’t remember how long it took me to finally get out of the psychological shadow of those three years and become an adult with normal emotions. I can’t remember how many methods I tried during this process, such as meditation and meditation.

Therapy, psychological counseling...

Even so, when I see relevant entries and news about school violence, I still recall what happened in the past, and inevitably think about that boy, wondering whether he will realize his mistake, and whether he will

I feel guilty, sorry, I will remember better and won’t do it again in the future.

Although, what is a bit funny is that after I graduated from college, I went back to my original junior high school to give a lecture. At that time, I actually met the boy who took the lead in bullying me in school. At that time, we were seven or eight meters apart and did not face each other.

I recognized him immediately, and then like an animal that had been shot, I started to tremble reflexively, my heartbeat kept beating, and I almost immediately froze in place and didn't dare to move.

As a result, it was as if nothing had happened to him. When he saw me, he came over and greeted me with a smile. He looked very nice to me. It was as if those days when life was worse than death only existed in my memory and were imagined by me.

.

I felt ridiculous at first, and then it was funny. Later, I attended several junior high school reunions, and without exception, whether it was the boy or the people who bullied me with him, what they had done to me back then had already been revealed to them.

I don’t remember any of it.

I am the only one who remembers everything in my heart, and I am the only one who has been affected by psychological trauma for so long.

I'm sorry that you all came here to read a movie review, but you listened to me forcefully talk about such a personal experience.

Before writing this article, I seriously considered whether to "exercise the topic" and call on everyone to pay attention to school violence and resist school violence. But as I write, I feel that these extra divergent and dry slogans may not be enough for me.

It feels more real to tell a memory in person.

The above are real-life things that happened to me, and they are only trivial examples among countless school bullying incidents.

I am standing in the perspective of a victim/being bullied and will share my hurt and feelings with you. I will not stamp the right or wrong here and leave it to everyone to think for themselves.

I want to say that this is school violence.

Those fists that do not hit the "real place" and do not hit the flesh are also considered campus violence.

The occurrence of campus bullying cannot be solely attributed to one person. In fact, in addition to the bully, the absence and indifference of parents and school officials, the conformity, onlookers, and silent majority among students are all factors.

It is the convergence and mixture of tiny malicious intentions from many aspects that will lead to the final result.

I don’t know how many people like me have suffered from school violence and have endured or are suffering from unimaginable mental trauma. I can only say that school violence and domestic violence are for young people who are not yet mature and are still growing up.

, the impact is long-lasting and far-reaching, and can even affect their entire lives.

——So, back to "Daytime Rain".

The "protagonist" in this film is also the "villain" Mawson. He embarked on a life that was similar to mine in the first half and completely different from mine in the second half.

When I look at him, I seem to be able to see myself as a teenager whose mental state was in jeopardy due to school violence, on the verge of collapse, and who finally gave up tolerance and picked up a kitchen knife instead.

To use a fashionable word to describe it, it is the if line.

Mohsen is just like me, like the if line of other students who have suffered from campus bullying.

We can either cowardly endure and spend our lives in a huge shadow, or we can survive the ordeal and spend the rest of our lives healing ourselves.

And Mawson, he is different from us.

He stood at a fork in the road of destiny and chose revenge.

"Rain of the Day" is a brutal revenge against campus bullying, adolescent growth, and the entire society.
Chapter completed!